The 'F' jokes

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colourful words in the English language is the word “fuck”. It is the one magical word, which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love and hate. In language, “fuck” falls into many grammatical categories.

It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (John really gives a fuck) or a passive verb (Mary really doesn’t give a fuck); or an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), and as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you can see, there are very few words with the versatility of “fuck”.

Besides its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:

Greetings               How the fuck are you?

Fraud                     I got fucked by the car dealer.

Dismay                  Oh, fuck
it!

Trouble                 Well, I guess I'm fucked now.

Aggression            Fuck you.

Disgust                  Fuck me.

Confusion             What the fuck...?

Difficulty               I don't understand this fucking business.

Despair                  Fucked again.

Incompetence        He fucks up everything

Displeasure            What the fuck is going on here?

Lost                       Where the fuck are we?

Disbelief                Unfucking believable.

Retaliation             Up your fucking ass.

Telling time           I have to work till 5 o-fucking-clock.

It can be used in an anatomical description — “He’s a fucking asshole.”

It can be used to tell time — “It’s five fucking thirty.”

It can be used in business — “How did I wind up with this fucking job?”

It can be maternal — as in “Motherfucker”.

It can be political — “Fuck George Bush.” (as we said this class was conducted overseas, you can always use it on local politicians) .

And, never forget General Custer’s last words: “Where did all the fucking people come from?”

Or the Mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that?”

And last, but not least, the immortal words of the Captain of the Titanic: “Where is all this fucking water coming from?”

The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the word.

How can anyone be offended when you say fuck?

Use it frequently in your daily speech; it adds to your prestige

---- at your own risk of course ^_^