THE COCOON ™: Hated where I am, wanted where I'm not.
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18 August 2011

Hated where I am, wanted where I'm not.



Every day I feel tense and anxious, any little thing pisses me off and I don't know why really. I mean I read about depression a bit. And I know how difficult it can be. but I don't want it to be me. I'm not the person I used to be anymore. I can do so many things with my time but I'd rather stay in bed and sleep or watch tv. I just really don't want to feel this way anymore. I always feel like there's something wrong with me. I hate myself so much right now. I'm not me.


yes I feel like there's something out to get me each day.. every time I turn around there's something to keep me from doing whatever I want to do with my life.. I'm not ever going to kill myself or anything. I think I'm stronger than that. I'm trying to do more things for myself. I hate plastering a fake smile on when I know that I'm not happy. I just can't pinpoint exactly what's making me unhappy.There's just so many things running through my mind constantly. I have never been able to shut my mind up. it runs a million miles a minute. I used to count all the time.. but then I just thought that I was crazy for counting in my own head to keep me from thinking of things...


you're right. I always try to please everyone. There is not enough time in the world to be able to do that. and I don't smile that much anymore. I always laughed all the time. I love to laugh. 
I need to keep in mind that I am still that person that I was and that I'm a strong person still. I don't know why I seemed to forget who I really was/am. And I don't know why I seem to forget these things. and I don't listen to people when they say "don't sweat the small stuff" everything's definitely a lot harder than it really seems. Everything seems more difficult now.

you're right. I always try to please everyone. There is not enough time in the world to be able to do that. and I don't smile that much anymore. I always laughed all the time. I love to laugh. 
I need to keep in mind that I am still that person that I was and that I'm a strong person still. I don't know why I seemed to forget who I really was/am. And I don't know why I seem to forget these things. and I don't listen to people when they say "don't sweat the small stuff" everything's definitely a lot harder than it really seems. Everything seems more difficult now.

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DON'T LET THE NOISE OF OTHER OPINIONS DROWN OUT YOUR OWN INNER VOICE AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, HAVE THE COURAGE TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND INTUITION ™

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