THE COCOON ™: Aug 18, 2011
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18 August 2011

Hated where I am, wanted where I'm not.

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Every day I feel tense and anxious, any little thing pisses me off and I don't know why really. I mean I read about depression a bit. And I know how difficult it can be. but I don't want it to be me. I'm not the person I used to be anymore. I can do so many things with my time but I'd rather stay in bed and sleep or watch tv. I just really don't want to feel this way anymore. I always feel like there's something wrong with me. I hate myself so much right now. I'm not me.


yes I feel like there's something out to get me each day.. every time I turn around there's something to keep me from doing whatever I want to do with my life.. I'm not ever going to kill myself or anything. I think I'm stronger than that. I'm trying to do more things for myself. I hate plastering a fake smile on when I know that I'm not happy. I just can't pinpoint exactly what's making me unhappy.There's just so many things running through my mind constantly. I have never been able to shut my mind up. it runs a million miles a minute. I used to count all the time.. but then I just thought that I was crazy for counting in my own head to keep me from thinking of things...


you're right. I always try to please everyone. There is not enough time in the world to be able to do that. and I don't smile that much anymore. I always laughed all the time. I love to laugh. 
I need to keep in mind that I am still that person that I was and that I'm a strong person still. I don't know why I seemed to forget who I really was/am. And I don't know why I seem to forget these things. and I don't listen to people when they say "don't sweat the small stuff" everything's definitely a lot harder than it really seems. Everything seems more difficult now.

you're right. I always try to please everyone. There is not enough time in the world to be able to do that. and I don't smile that much anymore. I always laughed all the time. I love to laugh. 
I need to keep in mind that I am still that person that I was and that I'm a strong person still. I don't know why I seemed to forget who I really was/am. And I don't know why I seem to forget these things. and I don't listen to people when they say "don't sweat the small stuff" everything's definitely a lot harder than it really seems. Everything seems more difficult now.

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Why is Angry Birds Addictive?

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Angry Birds is often described as an addictive game, which helps explain why the full version's launch for Android phones is big news. Starting today, the game can be downloaded for free through GetJar, a third-party app store, and it's coming to the Android Market over the weekend.
If you're one of the folks who's hooked on Angry Birds -- and please don't take this the wrong way -- I don't understand why. Angry Birds is a clever game, for sure. It has cute characters, elegant design and simple goals. But addictive? I just don't see it.
Video game addiction is often associated with massive multiplayer online games, like World of Warcraft. The social nature of these games, some experts say, fills a void of friendship and acceptance that the real world doesn't provide. I'm sure that the dangling carrot system of rewards in MMOs also plays a big role. These kinds of addictive games get a negative connotation, perhaps because you become a social outsider by playing with other people in solitude.
The other prominent class of addictive games are repetitive puzzlers, like Tetris and Bejeweled. A 1994 Wired article examined how Tetris stimulates the brain, and got a wonderful explanation from Vladimir Pokhilko, a former clinical psychologist and friend of Tetris creator Alexey Pajitnov. He said Tetris is addictive because of instant visual feedback, the creation of unfinished business that pushes the player to continue, and -- the real important part, I think -- automation, where your motivation to repeat the same actions becomes habitual.
Somewhere in between these two classes lies the recent wave of social games like Farmville. It has a social layer and a rewards system, like an MMO, and repetitive, automatic actions, like Tetris. Maybe that's why Zynga is raking in the dough.
Thing is, Angry Birds doesn't fit into these descriptions of addictive games. It's the opposite of automatic, requiring careful, calculated precision; it offers no rewards other than new levels and abilities; and there's nothing social about it.
So here's my theory: Angry Birds is not an addictive game. It's just a solid game, the kind that makes you want to play for a while. On consoles and computers, this is no big deal. I'd play Super Mario Bros. 3 for hours on end when I was seven years old. But on iPhone or iPad and Android platforms, where the games are supposed to be inconsequential, who would've thought?

Let me know if I'm way off base



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