You'd forget your friends' birthdays if it wasn't for Facebook reminders
Remember before the days of Facebook, when you wrote birthdays, important dates and events in a calendar or diary? If Facebook now runs your social life, telling you when to say 'happy birthday' and when you're going where, you could run into a pickle when you can't access it for some reason. Not sure how popular you'll be when you forget your mum's birthday because Facebook goes down for maintenance.
You speak to your best friend more often on Facebook than in real life.
Previously you'd pick up your phone if you wanted to tell your friends something, or maybe drop them a text message to meet for a chat. If you've found you're now talking to them more on Facebook than in real life, do your friendship a favour, close down the chat box and grab a coffee together.
You've started over-sharing
Hey, depressed guy! Facebook isn't your agony aunt, ok? You shouldn't be broadcasting how horrible your break-up was or how much you still love your ex on your profile. Nobody really wants to read it. And we'd bet that includes your ex too. Of course there is the other end of the scale - are you one of those couples who feel the need to express their love for each other at every possible opportunity? It might have been cute the first five times you did it, now it's just annoying.
Facebook on the beach
You check Facebook from your phone on holiday
The sun is shining, you're on an exotic beach somewhere and you've forked out your hard-earned cash to get away from it all. Why then, pray tell, would you be checking Facebook from your phone? This is addiction at its most devastating - not only will you miss out on chunks of your holiday with your face in your phone
You've taken out a loan to cover your Farmville/Fish World/Mafia habit
If you've been hooked in to playing one of these Facebook games, not only will you have no doubt flooded your friends' feeds with news that you just bought a new fish/sheep/gun, but you've probably spent a fair bit of dough on it in the process. If your bank balance is starting to see the effects of your addiction, you might want to think about reining it in a bit, and spending your cash on something away from your computer, in the real world.
Your mood depends on how many 'friends' you've added to your account
Let's get one thing straight - the number of Facebook friends you have is not directly proportionate to your popularity in the real world. In fact there's plenty of evidence to suggest it may well be the opposite. If you're finding yourself getting upset that you haven't had a friend request in a few hours, or that your next door neighbour has more Facebook friends than you, it's probably time to move away from the keyboard and get some face-to-face time with your real-life friends.
You've created a separate account for your baby/cat/favourite plant
Let's break this down - if you create an account for someone, or something, that can't actually use it, you're going to be the one updating it. It'll start innocently enough. A couple of status updates here and there 'in character'. Maybe a few wall posts. But then before you know it, you'll be having full blown conversations with yourself between your real and fake profiles. That's the first sign of madness these days, don't you know?
Facebook on the brainWhen you're out, you're wondering what's happening on Facebook
It should go without saying - when you're with your friends, your mind should not be on Facebook. So if you're finding yourself getting a nervous tic when you've been away from Facebook for more than a few hours, it's definitely time for a break. You can rest in the knowledge that all the news, comments and photos will be there when you get home, and you'll have plenty of material from the time with your mates to update your status with.
You haven't seen your husband/wife/significant other recently
See that person you're listed as in a relationship with on Facebook? Well they also exist away from the computer too, remember? Facebook was recently found to be a factor in one in five divorces, and we're sure the figures are even higher for relationship break-ups. If you've not seen your other half in a while, you might want to make sure they aren't filing the divorce papers and packing their bags while you're busy updating your status.
You've ever updated your status while sat on the loo
There are some things that can just wait, and one of those is status updating. If you've ever found yourself coming up with something you just have to share with the world while sitting on the loo, put the phone down and wait until you're back at your computer. Of course, if you've taken your computer with you, well then that's a whole different level of addiction you need to address...
Vain self portraits
You take pictures of yourself
Are you guilty of posing in front of your webcam? Or have ever taken a photo of yourself in the mirror just to use as your profile picture? This is a sign of S.V.B - seriously vain behaviour, a condition contracted from extended use of Facebook.
First fur ore
You've ever written 'First!'
We're not sure where the idea came from that you got special kudos for commenting on something first, but just for the record - you don't. In fact, doing it repeatedly is more likely to get you booted off your friends' lists quicker than you can say, well, 'first'.
FootNote ~ sign of S.V.B - seriously vain behavior, That's the first sign of madness these days, don't you know?